Ethan Brand
Background
I majored in English literature in college. I’m sure no one reading these missives would have surmised that (Yes, that was sarcasm). During one of my literature courses, we read a short story by Nathaniel Hawthorne titled “Ethan Brand”. The story regards a man who shows up at a house and claims to have sold his soul to the devil. As no one really believes the man, he disintegrates during the night and what is left of him is found the next morning within the wood stove of the family he visited. An aspect of the allegory here is that people need others to validate their experiences. Without others with whom to share our experiences, those experiences become empty and meaningless. The unwillingness of the townsfolk to believe Brand leads to his disintegration. I wrote this song about that need for connection. The song contains a number of literary allusions. It’s a heavy blues song written in 11/8 time (alternating bars of 6 and 5). Again, weird meters are fun.
—MC
Lyrics
Verse:
Without you, I'm Ethan Brand
No one here to understand
My life's before me,
Wrought out in the sand
And about to be swept away.
Without you to hold my hand,
There's no reason for the niceties
Or the words that I might choose
To come to you and to say.
Chorus:
Perhaps these thoughts are narcissistic
But without you, my nihilistic
Leanings become more convincing
As I stand here, fragile and wincing.
Without you I'm Sisyphus.
I find I've had enough of this
Pointless waiting for Godot.
I have too many miles to go.
Verse:
Without you I'm beneath the frost,
My sentiments for people lost.
I can face the world, but, please tell me, at what cost ?
I no longer want to know.
Without you I face my fall.
For who is it that doesn't love a wall ?
I'll build one now to keep out the pending winter
With its awful blowing snow.
Chorus:
Perhaps I've idolized too many
Aesthetic folks. I've paid my pennies
For their thoughts and now I'm poor.
I can't afford to play any more.
I've begged, I've borrowed, and I'll steal,
Place my heart on the roulette wheel,
But I don't think I'll ever feel
If I'm living without you.